You plan for it your whole young life. You think of the dress, the hair do, the bridesmaids dresses, all the details right down to the goody bags. It takes literally years to plan your prefect day. The day that you and your true love become husband and wife. So why does it seem like so many people are calling it quits and throwing in the towel?
I have heard of so many people lately getting divorced. A word that used to carry a HUGE amount of judgement. A transaction that would have Catholics and Jewish congregations in tears. So why is this such an easy word to say or thing to do these days? Do people not take their marriages seriously anymore? Like, “Hey, if this doesn’t work out in a couple of years; you take the kid and I’ll take the 401k.” I mean, it is like people have quit putting in the work!
**Now, I know other couples who have tried everything before finally signing the decree and this is not in any judgement or ill will toward those that have made attempts to work things out. **
With things like Divorce Selifies, Divorce Parties, Divorce Cakes, Divorce dating services, it seems like getting a divorce is one big party.
At the heart of it all is still hurt, anger, and a broken family that needs healing! And while I am a huge supporter in not fighting in front of your kids, I am also a huge supporter in working through the tough stuff with your spouse!
The Hubs and I have had some times where one or both of us have looked at each other and said, “this is not what I want for the rest of my life!” But, you know what we did?! We talked about it, put it in the work to change it and moved forward TOGETHER!
We’ve stayed up til 3 am with tears and screaming and hugging and pushing away. We’ve sat on either end of the bed too exhausted to keep fighting and too aggravated to know what to say next. We’ve had people weight in and say, “You could do so much better!”, “You deserve someone that is….”, “Wouldn’t it be so much better to just give up?” And you know what? We didn’t give up! We didn’t let all those whispers in our ears choose a path for us, we stayed TOGETHER!
So instead of letting your divorced friends talk up divorce like it’s such a great thing, before external people weigh in on what you or your spouse should do, and ESPECIALLY before you start letting someone else in (even just emotionally) to make you feel good; do some HARD WORK!
- Marriage and individual counseling
- Self assessments and growth
- Talking about your feelings, what made you love each other, what is missing…
If you feel like your marriage needs some help, check out this site for some things you can do to help save your relationship. Take the time to talk to a counselor, therapist or pastor to work out some of the issues.
Now what are you willing to do to make it work? What tools have you acquired to work through your tough stuff and move forward? If you knew then what you know now, would you still have married the person you are with? Take some time, think about it. Then share here what you think about making it work.