I was listening to this podcast today called, “Over It, and On With It” on iHeartRadio.com and Christine said, “There Is A Difference Between A Boundary And A Barrier”. Insert AHA moment here! What a perfect thought!
Barriers stops things. Barriers are walls. In the case of this episode, barriers are when we go into fear or defense (or blame) instead of from a place of love and respect. A boundary about a clear intention. It is about an edge that is put in place so that people know where they can go and where they can’t. The border of Canada doesn’t drop off into nothingness, it still forms a connection between the US and Canada. That is a boundary.
Remembering that it is ok to set boundaries in our own life is so important. Understanding that setting a boundary isn’t mean or trying to hurt someone but instead is a place that we set to protect ourselves, to concentrate on our needs, and to focus on love. Sometimes a boundary is giving yourself some space. Space from someone, space to understand where in yourself is needing a focus, space to recharge yourself in a way to allow for future giving to others.
At the end of the day, being selfish is NOT always a bad thing. Concentrating on yourself and your needs feeds so much of your own ability to grow and love better. It also allows for you to see a different perspective. Getting out of the behaviors by setting a boundary removes us from the usual mindset, whereas once that boundary is set you can see things from a new place.
“Barriers come from FEAR; Boundaries come from LOVE!” ~ Christine Hassler
What do you do to set boundaries with people? How does it make you feel to set those limits? Do you feel selfish, cruel, or unfair? Who is someone that you need to address some healthy boundaries with and how are you going to go about it?