Thank Goodness Mother’s Day is Over

Mother’s day is a HARD day for me. I love celebrating the strong women that have molded, educated, and loved me but it is also a reminder of things that bring up a lot of pain.mothers-day-is-hard

My Mother’s Day was always a bit turbulent throughout the years. Wanting so badly to celebrate both my mom and my step mom was like walking a tight rope. The Breast Cancer walk was always on Mother’s Day and I felt that was such an important event to show support at but it took up a majority of the day. My mom’s happy place is at her cabin but it’s almost 3 hours away, so doing both was impossible. Choosing someone to celebrate and someone to miss out, seemed so unfair.download (1)

Then as I started my own family and we began our struggle to conceive, celebrating seemed more and more difficult. It was an inner battle to put on a happy face and give a Mother’s Day gift or card that I so longed to be the recipient of. Smiling as I thought of the many years of great mom advice, rough mom arguments, and all the moments in between but feeling broken or defective at the same time.wait-around

Next, my mother and I had a “falling out”. Sure logistics were easier but there is nothing like craving your mother or the idea you have of your mother on Mother’s Day and not being able to have that. Feeling bad that you aren’t just thankful for the relationship you do have with a parent and then adding the bad feelings of not having the mom you want in your own biological mother. Now that falling out has been healing and the relationship with the other mom is failing. I am telling you, it just isn’t a great experience!vanzandt

So, Mother’s Day is over. I can breathe a little sigh of relief and while I know that my relationships aren’t where I want them and that I myself will never get the feeling of being celebrated by my child on Mother’s Day or all the other days adventures that a mom goes through, there are things to look at in a brighter light.

I am thankful for the relationships I have had with my siblings and helping to raise them. I am grateful that my husband’s daughter thinks of me enough on Mother’s Day to wish me a good one, even though we have not built a strong relationship yet (she lives in a different state and we see her very rarely). I am blessed to have 9 nieces and nephews and oodles of friend’s children to steal when I need a date to a museum or play or Disney movie. There was a long time that I didn’t feel thankful, grateful or blessed because I was focusing on what I didn’t have. What I missed out on. quotes-gratitude-iyanla-vanzant-600x411

So, for all those super aunties, fur baby mommies, and people that wish they were mommies like me, I hope you found something to celebrate on Mother’s Day or that you made it through without too many tears and that you too can find the silver lining to your unfortunate inability.

 

 

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5 thoughts on “Thank Goodness Mother’s Day is Over

  1. rockbottom76 says:

    You have often said to me that you wish you could be as strong as I am ,well my dear the truth is I wish I had your strength with each day I find myself astounded at how strong and brilliant a women i have been lucky enough to call my wife. The hubs

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  2. the incurable dreamer says:

    Sarah, I am so sorry you aren’t able to have what you long for, I can’t imagine how painful that must be for you. I very much admire your attitude and your ability to put it into perspective as you have done here. You most certainly are a strong person. With regard to your mom and stepmom, I can relate to this post so much. My mom and I did not get along at all. When I was 10 she left us, but for some reason demanded my attention and love, though she gave me none in return. She was horrible. My dad married Kay, my stepmom, when I was 18 and she was like the mom I never had. It was great. Then it all flipped. She stopped talking to me 6 years ago for no reason. The pain was unbearable because I loved her (do love her), but she has never given me an explanation, and I don’t know what I did. But as I have grown, and discovered who I am, I have realized that her issues aren’t mine. I have found a way to deal with the hurt and not carry it as much. And over the past year and a half, I have built a foundation with my mom and the anxiety once associated with the sound of her voice is gone. We talk, laugh and she has shown me the kind of love I always longed for. I am still working on Kay, but refuse to compromise who I am so she will love me. Anyway, my point is, I get it. Mother’s Day is very hard for me and no card expresses how I really feel about it. Thankfully I have good friends and family who have guided me along the way and I am a reflection of all of them. Sounds like you are the reflection of some really incredible people as well! Great post!

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    • thompsonhouseblog says:

      I have to say, I think we are cut from the very same cloth! What you described with your mom and step mom is so very similar to my own experience. It is so nice to feel like there is another person in the world that “gets it”! Thank you so much for your continued support and for sharing your story with me. You are so right to not compromise who you are to make someone love you…they should love you just as you are! Especially a parent, even a step parent, should love you unconditionally. Sometimes I think we are given the wonderful set of friends that come into our lives so that we can CHOOSE family for ourselves to fill in where other biological family may lack. Thanks again for your comments!

      Liked by 1 person

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